You’re so bossy!

Assertiveness is not gender specific

Observing my children interact with each other teaches me so much. Recently I sat back and listened to my 8-year-old daughter and 10-year-old son have a ‘discussion’ at the kitchen table.  They were each telling each other, very clearly, what they wanted the other one to do.  Some would say they were talking AT each other. Ironically neither was listening to the other’s needs.  My daughter refused to give in to her brother’s requests and gracefully accepted that he didn’t want to go along with what she wanted.  But she remained resolute to what she wanted to do.  He on the other hand, was relentless and unaccepting of her lack of flexibility, even though he too wasn’t being flexible at all.  His closing remarks to her were, “You’re sooo bossy!”

 

It was interesting to hear that his perspective of her asserting herself, was that she was ‘bossy’.  This situation is not dissimilar to what many assertive women experience in the workplace…

Women have shared with me their feelings about assertiveness and how they are sometimes perceived.  They often feel that if they act assertively and confidently they will be perceived as aggressive and bossy.  Some women say they lack the confidence regardless of the type of environment they work in, and others explain that the environment exacerbates their confidence issues.  Regardless, a common theme for my female clients is their desire to be more assertive.  I’ve heard them say that they have trouble saying no, expressing their opinions, establishing realistic boundaries or being clear on their needs.  One of the levers to being more assertive is to build confidence.

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It’s a marathon not a sprint

It may take longer, but the payoff is so much greater.

My experience of focusing on wellbeing has traditionally been about weight loss and fitness.  Because of this I have engaged in various challenges and transformations.  Over the years I have signed up for F45’s 8-week challenge, Michelle Bridges 12-week body transformation and various others.  Wow, have I spent some money to get short term and speedy results!  And, I have achieved just that.  Short term results that I haven’t been able to sustain or create long term habit change.  So this year I took a different approach, and not surprisingly, I’m getting different results.

Close up of feet of a runner running in autumn leaves training exercise

This year I set my goal to create a healthy lifestyle for myself and my family as a whole.  Once this goal was set I knew there wasn’t going to be a short term fix.  I needed a program that would support my…. No…. our family transformation over time.  A program that would help us all create a new lifestyle, not a quick fix diet and exercise regime.

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Is fear of failure keeping you from making a career change?

You’re not alone

Have you ever wanted to make a big life change, but you didn’t because you felt afraid? Maybe you were afraid you would fail. Or afraid that you weren’t perfect for that, just yet. Or maybe you were afraid you weren’t good enough, smart enough, or experienced enough.

I had landed at a cross road in my career where I was considering two different paths. One really excited me and the other not so much. I was head down, bum up working diligently in my office one day when a familiar face walked in of a leader who I really admired. His style, his coaching, his authenticity. He sat down at my desk, looking at me very intently.

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Is your thinking holding you back?

During a recent group coaching conversation some of the Leaders on the call were sharing with me that their people were being negative and resistant to change.

What they had identified was that certain situations were triggering them to think in a way that was stopping them from transitioning to the new way of operating.

I shared with the group my Red Thoughts Worksheet so that they could use this tool to help their people gain awareness of the thoughts that they are experiencing which are causing them to behave in a way that is resistant to change.

 

If you would like gain awareness of the thoughts that are holding you back or coach someone in your team to do this, then download my Red Thoughts Worksheet.

Defining Moments

I recently had the privilege of speaking at and attending two interactive and insightful days at the Women in Risk Management Summit in Sydney. The theme for this year’s event was ‘Defining Moments’. Risk, audit and compliance industry leaders gathered to discuss some key leadership advice.

The summit was rich in collaboration, practicality and influence, inspirational stories of unexpected turning points that became career and leadership ‘Defining Moments’.

female rock climber

The summit was packed with thought leadership content, from innovation techniques, to mental toughness to authentic leadership. Sharing personal career journeys and individual lessons for navigating the paths to senior roles. The ‘defining moments’ highly resonated with myself and the delegates. Vulnerable moments and valuable failures are hard to grasp when you’re trying to learn from some book or formula, it was refreshing to hear real life stories of success and hardship from like minded women in the industry.

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Coaching To Save You Time

I was working with a client recently and he shared with me that he was frustrated by the amount of time he was spending coaching his leaders during a period of significant change across the function.

Despite the amount of time he was spending coaching his team members weren’t taking responsibility for leading the change with their own teams.

I shared with my client the Coaching On the Go Model and explained how he could use quick 10-minute coaching sessions to empower his leaders to take responsibility for the change themselves.

If you want to coach people on the go and help them feel empowered during change then download my Coaching On the Go Model.

Be Productive and Get Results

Recently I was working with a client and she shared with me that she “Couldn’t see the forest for the trees”. She was working on a change program and feeling quite disillusioned and unclear on where she should be right now and where she should be going.

I shared with her my Goal Setting tips to help her be more productive and get results. She used these tips to set some goals and she then started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you would like some tips on how to set goals and get results, then download my Worksheet about goal setting.

Free up your time to focus on the most important things

I was working with a client on a large change project and he was sharing with me his frustrations with how busy he was. Together we realised that he was focusing his time on lots of different tasks that were not necessarily his top priorities.

I shared with him The Stop Doing List.

This helped my client to determine the things that he needed to stop doing and the things that weren’t his or the organisations strategic priorities.

If you want to create more time and focus on the real priorities download my Stop Doing List.

Grow and develop to stand out during change

I was on a coaching call with a client recently and she was telling me that her head was spinning from all of the new things she had been learning as part of a business transformation project. She felt like she wasn’t going forward and her wheels were spinning. She was talking about the discomfort that she had with all of the change going on around her. I shared with her The Learning Zone Model.

This model helped my client to realise that she had moved into the panic zone and had become immobilised and unable to learn. She needed to take smaller steps to continue to grow and develop and stretch herself.

If you want to get yourself into the the learning zone so you can continue to grow and develop then download my Learning Zone Model.

Focus your efforts where you will get the most value

I was on a coaching call with a client recently and he was sharing with me his frustrations with the way his team was behaving. He was focusing on things that were completely outside of his control.

I shared with him Steven Covey’s Circle of Influence, Circle of Concern model.

 

This model helped my client to determine the things that he could really influence and where he should focus his time and then decide what things were completely out of his control that he needed to let go of.

If you want to be able to do this too, then download my Circle of Influence worksheet so that you too can focus your efforts where you will get the most value.